ForwardSlash

On Line Friend

I had some free time, so what did I do?
I checked the computer to see if I'd heard from you!

I used to walk out to a box to retrieve mail.
But I'd rather get it instantly, than wait on the snail!

Checking my e-mail is always fun!
I usually get a joke or greeting from someone.


I feel so blessed because on the other end,
I know I've connected with a friend!


When I've had a hard day and need to share,
Here I can find a friend who will listen and care.


And to this friend I hope I've let them know
That I am always there for them also!

Isn't it a strange kind of bond we form?
It isn't exactly like the "norm"!

But, where is it written, face to face we must be,
For you to be a very good friend to me??

That little joke or note, or just a simple "Hi",
Could be like a ray of sunshine from the sky!

So my online pals, this is dedicated to you,
For all the smiles you have made anew!



May our friendship continue to grow,
And the warmth we feel continue to flow!


Always remember this...
A smile is such an easy thing to pass along the way,
Like a ray of summer sunshine,
On a somewhat gloomy day!!

Thank you for being my Online Friend!!!

Definitions of Love

THE ORIGINAL QUOTE

If you love someone,
Set her free...
If she comes back, she's yours,
If she doesn't, she never was....

THE NEW VERSIONS.....

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Pessimist:

If you love someone,
Set her free ...
If she ever comes back, she's yours,
If she doesn't, as expected, she never was

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Optimist:

If you love someone,
Set her free ...
Don't worry, she will come back.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Suspicious:

If you love someone,
Set her free ...
If she ever comes back, ask her why.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Impatient:

If you love someone,
Set her free ...
If she doesn't come back within some time forget her.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Patient:


If you love someone, Set her free ...
If she doesn't come back,
continue to wait until she comes back ...

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Playful:

If you love someone,
Set her free ...
*If she comes back, and if you love her still, set her
free again, repeat *

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

C++ Programmer :

if(you-love(m_she)) /* m name of girlfriend */
m_she.free()
if(m_she == NULL)
m_she = new CShe;

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Animal-Rights Activist :

If you love someone,
Set her free,
In fact, all living creatures deserve to be free!!

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Lawyers:

If you love someone,
Set her free,
Clause 1a of Paragraph 13a-1 in the Second Amendment
of the Matrimonial
Freedom
Act clearly states that...

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Bill Gates :

If you love someone,
Set her free,
If she comes back,
I think we can charge her for re-installation fees but
tell her that she's also going to get an upgrade.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Biologist :

If you love someone,
Set her free,
She'll evolve.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Statisticians :

If you love someone,
Set her free,
If she loves you, the probability of her coming back
is high
If she doesn't, your relation was improbable anyway.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Schwarzenegger's fans:

If you love someone,
Set her free,
SHE'LL BE BACK!

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Over possessive person :

If you love someone
don't set her free.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

HR specialist :

If you love someone
set her free
by Offering her VRS and other benefits Then out source
her.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

MBA :

If you love someone
set her free
instantaneously and look for others simultaneously

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Psychologist :

If you love someone
set her free
If she comes back her super ego is dominant
If she doesn't come back her id is supreme
If she doesn't go, she must be crazy.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Somnabulist :

If you love someone
set her free
If she comes back it's a nightmare
If she doesn't, you must be dreaming.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

ERP functional expert :

If you love someone
set her free
If she comes back, map her into your system
If she doesn't, carry out a gap-fit analysis

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Finance expert :

If you love someone
set her free
If she comes back, its time to look for fresh loans
If she doesn't, write her off as an asset gone bad.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Marketing Specialist :

If you love someone
set her free
If she comes back she has brand loyalty
If she doesn't, reposition the brand in new market

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Efficiency Expert

The efficiency expert concluded his lecture with a note of caution.
"You don't want to try these techniques at home."
"Why not?" asked somebody from the audience.
"Well, I watched my wife's routine at breakfast for years," the expert explained.
"She made lots of trips between the refrigerator, stove, table and cabinets,often carrying a single item at a time.
One day I told her, 'Hon, why don't you try carrying several things at once?'"
"Did it save time?" the guy in the audience asked.
"Actually, yes," replied the expert.
"It used to take her 20 minutes to make breakfast. Now I do it in seven."

No Problem!

Don't worry if you have problems! Which is easy to say until you are in the
midst of a really big one, I know. But the only people I am aware of who
don't have troubles are gathered in little neighborhoods. Most communities
have at least one. We call them cemeteries.

If you're breathing, you have difficulties. It's the way of life. And
believe it or not, most of your problems may actually be good for you! Let
me explain.

Maybe you have seen the Great Barrier Reef, stretching some 1,800 miles from
New Guinea to Australia. Tour guides regularly take visitors to view the
reef. On one tour, the guide was asked an interesting question. "I notice
that the lagoon side of the reef looks pale and lifeless, while the ocean
side is vibrant and colorful," a traveler observed. "Why is this?"

The guide gave an interesting answer: "The coral around the lagoon side is
in still water, with no challenge for its survival. It dies early. The coral
on the ocean side is constantly being tested by wind, waves, storms - surges
of power. It has to fight for survival every day of its life. As it is
challenged and tested it changes and adapts. It grows healthy. It grows
strong. And it reproduces." Then he added this telling note: "That's the way
it is with every living organism."

That's how it is with people. Challenged and tested, we come alive! Like
coral pounded by the sea, we grow. Physical demands can cause us to grow
stronger. Mental and emotional stress can produce tough-mindedness and
resiliency. Spiritual testing can produce strength of character and
faithfulness.

So, you have problems - no problem! Just tell yourself, "There I grow
again!"

Things to Remember


I find what I look for in people. If I look for God, I find God. If I look
for bad qualities, I find them. I, in a sense, select what I expect, and I
receive it. A life without challenges would be like going to school without
lessons to learn. Challenges come not to depress or get me down, but to
master and to grow
and to unfold thereby.

In the Father's wise and loving plan for me, no burden can fall upon me, no
emergency can arise, no grief can overtake me, before I am given the grace
and strength to meet them.

A rich, full life is not determined by outer circumstances and
relationships. These can be contributory to it, but cannot be the source. I
am happy or unhappy because of what I think and feel.

I can never lose anything that belongs to me, nor can I posses what is not
really mine.

To never run from a problem: either it will chase me or I will run into
another just like it, although it may have a different face or name.

To have no concern for tomorrow. Today is the yesterday over which I had
concern.

To never bang on a closed door: Wait for it to open and then go through it.

A person who has come into my life has come either to teach me something, or
to learn something from me.

I Found Love


As hard as it was for me to do
I found love.

As hard as I fought to avoit it
I found love.

I pushed it away and it came back,
It pushed me away and I followed;
It broke my heart and mended it again
And so I gave into it.

It took four years,
But I found love
It took trials and tribulations,
But I found love.

It's not extravagant gifts,
Or trips around the world;

It's not jealousy,
Envy,
Or Spite.

But it is . . .
Watching the sun rise together,
Taking care of one another when we're sick,
Realizing how beautiful your lover is and letting her know,
Giving yourself to each other for the first time,
Flying across states just to be there for each other's birthday,
Writing letters and poems expressing our deepest feelings,
Talking on the phone until three in the morning,
Always knowing that no matter what happens, whereever we are, we're always
be there for each other;
It's a friend as well as a lover.

I don't know how I did it,
But I found love.

I don't know when it happened,
But I found love.

And now that I've found it,
I don't want to let it go.

But there comes a time
When we must move on,
And if it is destined to be found again,
It will happen.

So as we move our separate ways,
I want to leave a piece of me,
No, a piece of us with you;

For it is in you that I found love for the first time
And so it is with you that I leave our memory.

Angels
{Think Twice, coz' its another day for u N me in Paradise...}

Barefoot and dirty, the girl just sat and watched the people go by. She
never tried to speak, she never said a word. Many people passed, but never
did one person stop.

Just so happens the next day I decided to go back to the park, curious if
the little girl would still be there.

Right in the very spot as she was yesterday she sat perched on high, with
the saddest look in her eyes. Today I was to make my own move and walk over
to the little girl. As we all know a park full of strange people is not a
place for young children to play.

As I began walking towards her I could see the back of the little girl's
dress indicated a deformity. I figured that was the reason the people just
passed by and made no effort to help. As I got closer, the little girl
slightly lowered her eyes to avoid my intent stare. I could see the shape
of her back more clearly. It was grotesquely shaped in a humped over form.
I smiled to let her know it was ok, I was there to help, to talk.

I sat down beside her and opened with a simple Hello. The little girl acted
shocked and stammered a hi after a long stare into my eyes. I smiled and
she shyly smiled back. We talked 'til darkness fell and the park was
completely empty. Everyone was gone and we were alone. I asked the girl
why she was so sad. The little girl looked at me and with a sad face said
"Because I'm different."

I immediately said "that you are!" and smiled. The little girl acted even
sadder, she said, "I now." "Little girl," I said, "you remind me of an
angel, she stood to her feet, and said, "Really?"

"Yes, ma'am, you're like a little guardian angel sent to watch over all
those people walking by." She nodded her head yes and smiled, and with that
she spread her wings and said with a twinkle in her eye, "I am." I was
speechless, sure I was seeing things. She said, "And since you thought of
someone other than yourself, my job here is done."

Immediately I stood to my feet and said, "Wait, so why did no one stop to
help an angel?" She looked at me and smiled, "You're the only one who could
see me, and you believe it in your heart." And She was gone. And with that
my life was changed dramatically.

So, when you think you're all you have, remember, there is an angel always
watching over you.

Pass this to everyone that means anything at all to you....make sure you
send it back to the person who sent it to you, to let them know you're glad
they care about you...like the story says we all need someone..

Everyone of your friends is an angel in their own

Imperfections


No matter how much planning and preparation you do, something will not turn
out the way you wanted it to be. Yet even when those inevitable
disappointments do indeed come, you can adapt and make the very most of
them.

Life is not perfect and yet it can be perfectly wonderful. It's great to aim
for perfection, and even better to achieve excellence in spite of the
imperfections you encounter. When people and situations refuse to cooperate,
you can be amazingly adaptable. You can move toward excellence even in the
most distressing, imperfect scenarios.

Though what you have is not perfect, you can work with it. Accept what you
have, imperfections and all, with gratitude and enthusiasm. Don't spend your
time waiting for the perfect situation, something which is not very likely
to come. Go ahead with life as it is, with the bumps and the pitfalls, and
give your best to every moment.

Kavitanjali
I start my day by sitting on a chair,
giving my monitor a hard, cold stare,

by evening im done with another coding,
Oh! this has become a routine so boring.

Like all, I entered this field with great hope,
jobs were many and there was plenty of scope,

dreams of joining the likes of Gates,
and a chance to make money in the states.

Thus, I entered the world of bytes,
only to realize that reality bites,

coz a programmer's life, isn't all that cozy,
the bed of software, isn't all that rosy.

seeing the monitor all day n night,
have taken the power of my eyesight,

late to bed n late to rise,
has made me wealthy, but not healthy n wise.

working holidays, busy weekends,
no time for family, no time for friends,

my job steals most of my time,
helplessly, I watch this crime.

just for few bits of money,
I forego those moments with my honey,

when I should be out - having fun,
im telling a comp, whats to be done.

I hate u, yet I cant get away,
coz, I need the money u pay,

Time Bank


Imagine there is a bank that credits your account each morning with $86,400.

It carries over no balance from day to day. Every evening the bank deletes
whatever part of the balance you failed to use during the day.

What would you do? Draw out every cent, of course!!!!

Each of us has such a bank. Its name is TIME.
Every morning, it credits you with 86,400 seconds.
Every night it writes off, as lost, whatever of this you have failed to
invest to good purpose.

It carries over no balance. It allows no overdraft.
Each day it opens a new account for you.
Each night it burns the remains of the day.

If you fail to use the day's deposits, the loss is yours.

There is no going back. There is no drawing against the "tomorrow".

You must live in the present on today's deposits.
Invest it so as to get from it the utmost in health, happiness, and success!

The clock is running. Make the most of today.

To realize the value of ONE YEAR, ask a student who failed a grade.

To realize the value of ONE MONTH, ask a mother who gave birth to a
premature baby.

To realize the value of ONE WEEK, ask the editor of a weekly newspaper.

To realize the value of ONE HOUR, ask the lovers who are waiting to meet.

To realize the value of ONE MINUTE, ask a person who missed the train.

To realize the value of ONE SECOND, ask a person who just avoided an
accident.

Treasure every moment that you have! And reassure it more because you
shared it with someone special, special enough to spend your time.

Remember that time waits for no one.
Yesterday is history.
Tomorrow is mystery.
Today is a gift.
That's why it's called the present!

The Optimist

There is a story of identical twins. One was a hope-filled optimist.
“Everything is coming up roses!” The other was a said and hopeless
pessimist. He thought that Murphy, as in Murphy’s Law, was an optimist.
The worried parents of the boys brought them to the local psychologist.

He suggested to the parents a plan to balance the twins’ personalities. “On
their next birthday, put them in separate rooms to open their gifts. Give
the pessimist the best toys you can afford, and give the optimist a box of
manure”. The parents followed these instructions and carefully observed the
results.

When they peeked in on the pessimist, they heard him audibly complaining, “I
don’t like the color of this computer…I’ll bet this calculator will break…I
don’t like this game…I know someone who’s got a bigger toy car than this…”

Tiptoeing across the corridor, the parents peeked in and saw their little
optimist gleefully throwing the manure up in the air. He was giggling.
“You can’t fool me! Where there’s this much manure, there’s gotta be a
pony!”

TO MY CHILD

I will think about the mothers and fathers who are searching for their
missing children, the mothers and fathers who are visiting their children's
graves instead of their bedrooms. The mothers and fathers who are in
hospital rooms watching their children suffer senselessly and screaming
inside that they can't handle it anymore.

And when I kiss you goodnight I will hold you a little tighter, a little
longer. It is then, that I will thank God for you, and ask him for nothing,
except one more day.............


Just for this morning, I am going to smile when I see your face and laugh
when I feel like crying.

Just for this morning, I will let you choose what you want to wear, and
smile and say how perfect it is.

Just for this morning, I am going to step over the laundry and pick you up
and take you to the park to play.

Just for this morning, I will leave the dishes in the sink, and let you
teach me how to put that puzzle of yours together.

Just for this afternoon, I will unplug the telephone and keep the computer
off, and sit with you in the backyard and blow bubbles.

Just for this afternoon, I will not yell once, not even a tiny grumblewhen
you scream and whine for the ice cream truck, and I will buy you one if he
comes by.

Just for this afternoon, I won't worry about what you are going to be when
you grow up, or second guess every decision I have made where you are
concerned.

Just for this afternoon, I will let you help me bake cookies, and I won't
stand over you trying to fix them.

Just for this afternoon, I will take you to McDonald's and buy us both a
Happy Meal so you can have both toys.

Just for this evening, I will hold you in my arms and tell you a story
about how you were born and how much I love you.

Just for this evening, I will let you splash in the tub and not get angry.

Just for this evening, I will let you stay up late while we sit on the
porch and count all the stars.

Just for this evening, I will snuggle beside you for hours, and miss my
favourite TV shows.

Just for this evening when I run my finger through your hair as you pray, I
will simply be grateful that God has given me the greatest gift ever given.

Chickn Soup
A story tells that two friends were walking through the desert.

During some point of the journey they had an argument, and one
friend slapped the other one in the face. The one who got slapped was hurt, but without saying anything, wrote in the sand:

"TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SLAPPED ME IN THE FACE."

They kept on walking until they found an oasis, where they decided to take a bath. The one who had been slapped got stuck in the mire and started drowning, but the friend saved him. After he recovered from the near drowning, he wrote on a stone:

"TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SAVED MY LIFE."

The friend who had slapped and saved his best friend asked him, "After I hurt you, you wrote in the sand and now,you write on a stone, why?" The other friend replied:

"When someone hurts us we should write it down in sand where winds of forgiveness can erase it away. But, when someone does something good for us, we must engrave it in stone where no wind can ever erase it."

LEARN TO WRITE YOUR HURTS IN THE SAND AND TO CARVE YOUR BENEFITS IN STONE.

They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to Appreciate them, a day to love them, but then an entire life to forget them

Be Good To Yourself Therapy
-----------------------------------------


Trust yourself. You know what you want and need.

Put yourself first. You can't be anything for anybody else unless you take
care of yourself.

Let your feelings be known. They are important.

Express your opinions. It's good to hear yourself talk.

Value your thinking. You do it well. If you don't value it, no one else
will.

Take the time and space you need.. Even if other people are wanting
something from you.

When you need something, don't talk yourself out of it. Even if you can't
have it, it's OK to need.

When you are scared, let someone know. Isolating yourself when you're scared
makes it worse.

When you feel like running away, let yourself feel the scare. Think about
what you fear will happen and decide what you need to do.

When you're angry, let yourself feel the anger. Decide what you want to do;
just feel it, express it, or take some action.

When you're sad, think about what would be comforting. When you're hurt,
tell the person who hurt you. Keeping it inside makes it grow.

When you have work to do and you don't want to do it, decide what really
needs to be done and what can wait.

When you want something from someone else, ask. You'll be okay if they say
no. Asking is being true to yourself.

When you need help, ask. Trust people to say no if they don't want to give.

When people turn you down, it usually has to do with them, and not with you.
Ask someone else for what you need.

When you feel alone, know there are people who want to be with you.
Fantasize what it would be like to be with each of them. Decide if you want
to make that happen.

When you feel anxious, let yourself know that in your head. You've moved
into the future to something scary your body has gotten up the energy for
it. Come back to the present.

When you want to say something loving to someone, go ahead. Expressing your
feeling is not a commitment.

When someone yells at you, physically support yourself by relaxing into your
chair or putting your feet firmly on the floor. Remember to breathe. Think
about the message they are trying to get across to you.

When you're harassing yourself, stop. You do it when you need something.
Figure out what you need and get it.

When everything seems wrong, you are overwhelmed and need some comforting.
Ask for it. Afterwards, you can think about what you need to do.

When you want to talk to someone new and are scared, breathe. Don't start
rehearsing, just plunge in. If it doesn't go well, you can stop.

If you're doing something you don't like to do, (such as smoking or
overeating), Stop. Think about what you really want. If you're stuck and
can't think clearly, talk out loud to someone.

When you can't think straight, Stop thinking. Feel.

When you're in need of love, reach out. There are people who love you.

When you're confused, it's usually because you think you should do one thing
and you want to do another. Dialogue with yourself or present both sides to
a friend.

When you feel harried, slow down. Deliberately slow your breathing, your
speech, and your movements.

When you have tears, cry. When you feel like crying and it's not a safe
place to cry, acknowledge your pain and promise yourself a good cry later.
Keep your promise.

When everything seems gray, look for color.

If one of these rules seems wrong for you, talk about it with someone. Then,
rewrite it so it fits you.

A LUV STORY U WILL NEVER FORGET


He met her on a party. She was so outstanding, many guys chasing after her,
while he was so normal, nobody paid attention to him. At the end of the
party, he invited her to have coffee with him, she
was surprised, but due to being polite, she promised.


They sat in a nice coffee shop, he was too nervous to say anything, she felt
uncomfortable, she thought, please, let me go home.. suddenly he asked the
waiter: would you please give me some salt?
I'd like to put it in my coffee."


Everybody stared at him, so strange! His face turned red, but, still, he put
the salt in his coffee and drank it. She asked him curiously: why you have
this hobby?


He replied: "when I was a little boy, I was living near the sea, I liked
playing in the sea, I could feel the taste of the sea , just like the taste
of the salty coffee. Now every time I h! ave the salty coffee, I always
think of my childhood, think of my hometown, I miss my hometown so much, I
miss my parents who are still living there". While saying that tears filled
his eyes. She was deeply touched.


That's his true feeling, from the bottom of his heart. A man who can tell
out his homesickness, he must be a man who loves home, cares about home, has
responsibility of home.. Then she also started to speak, spoke about her
faraway hometown, her childhood, her family. That was a really nice talk,
also a beautiful beginning of their story.


They continued to date. She found that actually he was a man who meets all
her demands; he had tolerance, was kind hearted, warm, careful.


He was such a good person but she almost missed him! Thanks to his salty
coffee!Then the story was just like every beautiful love story, the princess
married to the pr! ince, then they were living the happy
life... And, every time she made coffee for him, she put some salt in the
coffee, as she knew that's the way he liked it.


After 40 years, he passed away, left her a letter which said: "My dearest,
please forgive me, forgive my whole life lie. This was the only lie I said
to you---the salty coffee. Remember the first time we dated? I was so
nervous at that time, actually I wanted some sugar, but I said salt It was
hard for me to change so I just went ahead. I never thought that could be
the start of our communication! I tried to tell you the truth many times in
my life, but I was too afraid to do that, as I have romised not to lie to
you for
anything.. Now I'm dying, I afraid of nothing so I tell you the truth: I
don't like the salty coffee, what a strange bad taste.


But I have had the salty coffee for my whole life! Since I knew you, I !
never feel sorry for anything I do for you.Having you with me is my biggest
happiness for my whole life. If I can live for the second
time, still want to know you and have you for my whole life, even though I
have to drink the salty coffee again".


Her tears made the letter totally wet. Someday, someone asked her: what's
the taste of salty coffee? It's sweet. She replied.


Pass this 2 everyone coz
love is not 2 forget
but 2 forgive
not 2 c but understand
not 2 hear but 2 listen
not 2 let go but HOLD ON !!!!

Attitude Determines Attitude

I woke up early today, excited over all I get to do before the clock strikes
midnight. I have responsibilities to fulfill today. I am important. My job
is to choose what kind of day I am going to have.

Today I can complain because the weather is rainy or I can be thankful that
the grass is getting watered for free.

Today I can feel sad that I don't have more money or I can be glad that my
finances encourage me to plan my purchases wisely and guide me away from
waste.

Today I can grumble about my health or I can rejoice that I am alive.

Today I can lament over all that my parents didn't give me when I was
growing up or I can feel grateful that they allowed me to be born.

Today I can cry because roses have thorns or I can celebrate that thorns
have roses.

Today I can mourn my lack of friends or I can excitedly embark upon a quest
to discover new relationships.

Today I can whine because I have to go to work or I can shout for joy
because I have a job to do.

Today I can complain because I have to go to school or eagerly open my mind
and fill it with rich new tidbits of knowledge.

Today I can murmur dejectedly because I have to do housework or I can feel
honored because the Lord has provided shelter for my mind, body and soul.

Today stretches ahead of me, waiting to be shaped. And here I am, the
sculptor who gets to do the shaping.

What today will be like is up to me. I get to choose what kind of day I will
have!


- Author Unknown

How to break a bad News
A letter from a young girl to her mother

Dear Mom,

I know I haven't written for three months, but I have been very busy
and I've been having a very exciting time. Actually, I'm just back from
the hospital, where I had spent a fortnight about two months ago. It was
nothing, really - just a concussion on the back of my head, a broken
leg and a hairline fracture, that I got while jumping out of the second
floor of my hostel when it caught fire. In fact, I can now stand all by
myself without crutches, and can almost see everything perfectly, except for
a slight blur.

But don't worry. The doctor says there is a good chance of me walking
on my own again. Actually, it could have been worse, if not for that nice
chai-walla who saw me lying there in a dead faint and rushed me to
hospital. He was very helpful, really, and came to see me everyday in
the hospital. Now that I am out of hospital, I had nowhere to go, as the
hostel is still under construction. So when he suggested that I move
in with him in his hut, I thought it was very kind of him, and agreed.

We are very much in love now, and I am sure that you and Dad will
surely like him and accept him in the family. I am sure the minor matter that
he is fourteen years older than me and that he is of a different caste and
religion, will not matter at all to broad minded parents like you.
He may be illiterate and poor, but he has a heart of gold - really, Mom,
you should see how he cares for both of us - me and his first wife.

She is quite sweet too, and so are her three children; so there is
absolutely no problem. You must be wondering how you and Dad got
informed so late. Don't get angry, Mom. We just didn't have the time. You see,
we decided to get married only recently since we thought it would be
unfair to let our baby into the world without a proper surname.

Yes, Mom, you are going to be a grandmother! Congratulations! I am
sure you and Dad are delighted, and will come to visit us in his village in
Mizoram after we shift there next week.

OK Mom. All this did not really happen. There was no fire, no
fracture,no bigamous chai-walla and no illegitimate pregnancy.

But I did flunk in my Mathematics exam, and I wanted you to view this
problem in the right perspective.

Your Darling Daughter,
X Y Zee

Two Sardars went into a pub and after ordering two beers took some
sandwiches out of their pockets and started to eat them.

"You can't eat your own sandwiches in here," complained the pub-owner.

So the two sardars swapped (exchanged) their sandwiches.

*=====*=====*=====*=====*=====*=====*=====*=====*=====*=====*=====*
Sardarjee to Sunita: "I want to marry you"

Sunita: "But I am one year elder to you."

Sardar: "No Problem, then I will marry you next year."

*=====*=====*=====*=====*=====*=====*=====*=====*=====*=====*=====*
A sardar was very fond of sensational and detective novels, but he always
started reading from the middle. A friend of his asked why he did so.

"It's doubly interesting", said the Sardar. "TO start from the middle
keeps one curious not only about its conclusion but also about its
beginning!"

*=====*=====*=====*=====*=====*=====*=====*=====*=====*=====*=====*

Cool Lessons
Last one
A junior manager, a senior manager and their boss are on their way to a
meeting. On their way through a park, they come across a wonder lamp. They
rub the lamp and a ghost appears. The ghost says, "Normally, one is
granted three wishes but as you are three, I will allow one wish each" So
the eager senior manager shouted, I want the first wish. I want to be in
the Bahamas, on a fast boat and have no worries. "Pfufffff, and he was
gone. Now the junior manager could not keep quiet and shouted " I want to
be in Florida with beautiful girls, plenty of food and cocktails.
"Pfufffff, and he was also gone. The boss calmly said, "I want these two
idiots back in the office after lunch"
Lesson V- "Always allow the bosses to speak first"
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Cool Lessons
4.

There were these 4 guys, a Russian, a German, an British and a French, who
found this small genie bottle. When they rubbed the bottle, a genie
appeared. Thankful that the 4 guys had released him out of the bottle, he
said, "Next to you all are 4 swimming pools, I will give each of you a
wish. When you run towards the pool and jump, you shout what you want the
pool of water to become, then your wish will come true." The French wanted
to start. He ran towards the pool, jumped and shouted "WINE". The pool
immediately changed into a pool of wine. The Frenchman was so happy
swimming and drinking from the pool. Next is the Russian's turn, he did
the same and shouted," VODKA" and immersed himself into a pool of vodka.
The German was next and he jumped and shouted, "BEER". He was so contented
with his beer pool. The last is the British. He was running towards the
pool when suddenly he steps on a banana peel. He slipped towards the pool
and shouted, SHIT!!!!!!!........."
Lesson IV - Think twice before you say something, because sometimes what
you say accidentally does happen.
************************************************************************

Cool Lessons:
3.
An American and a Japanese were sitting on the plane on the way to LA when
the American turned to the Japanese and asked, "What kind of -ese are
you?" The Japanese confused, replied, "Sorry but I don't understand what
you
mean." The American repeated, "What kind of -ese are you?" Again, the
Japanese was confused over the question. The American, now irritated, then
yelled, "What kind of -ese are you...Are you a Chinese, Japanese,
Vietnamese!, etc......???" The Japanese then replied, "Oh, I am a
Japanese." A while later the Japanese turned to the American and asked
What kind of 'key' was he. The American, frustrated, yelled, "What do you
mean what kind of '-key' am I?!" The Japanese said, "Are you a Yankee,
donkee, or monkee?"
Lesson III - Never insult anyone.
************************************************************************

Cool Lessons
2.
A crusty old man walks into a bank and says to the teller at the window:
"I want to open a damn checking account." To which the astonished woman
replies: "I beg your pardon, sir; I must have misunderstood you. What did
you say?" "Listen up bitch! I said, I want to open a damn checking account
right now!" "I'm very sorry sir, but we do not tolerate that kind of
language in this bank." Having said this, the teller leaves the window and
goes over to the bank manager to tell him about her problem customer. They
both return and the manager asks the old geezer: "What seems to be the
problem here?" "There's no damn problem, sonny," the elderly man says. "I
just won 50 million bucks in the damn lottery and I want to open a damn
checking account in this damn bank!" "I see," says the
manager thoughtfully. "And you're saying that this bitch here is giving
you a hard time?"
Lesson II - If you are RICH, you can get away with almost anything.
************************************************************************

Cool Lessons:
1.
A young executive was leaving the office at 6 p.m. then he found the CEO
standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand.
"Listen," said the CEO, "this is a very sensitive and important document,
and my secretary has left. Can you make this thing work?" "Certainly,"
said the young executive. He turned the machine on, inserted the paper,
and pressed the start button. "Excellent, excellent!" said the CEO as his
paper disappeared inside the machine. "I just need one copy."
Lesson I - Never, never assume that your BOSS knows everything.
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This will act as a place where we can put all our forwards that we think are worth archiving at some place...
What's in name?
I tried diferrent combinations for the URL title but alas all were taken, so finally agreed upon this...