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Everything I need to know about life, I learned from Noah's Ark...
One: Don't miss the boat.
Two: Remember that we are all in the same boat.
Three: Plan ahead. It wasn't raining when Noah built the Ark.
Four: Stay fit. When you're 600 years old, someone may ask you to do something really big.
Five: Don't listen to critics; just get on with the job that needs to be done.
Six: Build your future on high ground.
Seven: For safety's sake, travel in pairs.
Eight: Speed isn't always an advantage. The snails were on board with the cheetahs.
Nine: When you're stressed, float a while.
Ten: Remember, the Ark was built by amateurs; the Titanic by professionals.
Eleven: No matter the storm, when you are with God, there's always a rainbow waiting. NOW, wasn't that nice? Pass it along and make someone else smile, too.

funny slogan's

Seen in railway station at Patna: Aana free, Jaana free, Pakde gaye to khana free

Sign on a famous beauty parlour window:-Don't whistle at the girl going out from here.She may be your Grandmother!!

When I read about the evils of drinking...I gave up............. reading.

Sign in a restaurant: All drinking water in this establishment has been personally passed by the manager.

Behind every great man, there is a surprised woman.

Laugh and the world laughs with you, Snore and you sleep alone.

Sign in a bar : "Those .....drinking to forget their worries ........ please pay in advance."

A Spouse is someone who'll stand by you through all the trouble you wouldn't have had if you'd stayed single.

My Grandfather is eighty and still doesn't need glasses... He drinks straight out of the bottle.

Smoking helps you lose weight ... one lung at a time!

Getting caught is the mother of Invention.

The Law of the Seed


Take a look at an apple tree. There might be five hundred apples on the
tree, each with ten seeds. That's a lot of seeds. We might ask, "Why would
you need so many seeds to grow just a few more trees?" Nature has something
to teach us here. It's telling us: "Most seeds never grow. So if you really
want to make something happen, you had better try more than once.

This might mean:

You'll attend twenty interviews to get one job.
You'll interview forty people to find one good employee.
You'll talk to fifty people to sell one house, car, vacuum cleaner,
insurance policy, or idea.
And you might meet a hundred acquaintances to find one special friend.

When we understand the "Law of the Seed", we don't get so disappointed. We
stop feeling like victims. Laws of nature are not things to take personally.
We just need to understand them - and work with them.

IN A NUTSHELL

Successful people fail more often. They plant more seeds.
When Things Are Beyond Your Control, Here's a recipe for permanent misery:

a) Decide how you think the world SHOULD be.
b) Make rules for how everyone SHOULD behave.

Then, when the world doesn't obey your rules, get angry!
That's what miserable people do!

Let's say you expect that:

Friends SHOULD return favors.
People SHOULD appreciate you.
Planes SHOULD arrive on time.
Everyone SHOULD be honest.
Your husband SHOULD remember your birthday.

These expectations may sound reasonable. But often, these things won't
happen! So you end up frustrated and disappointed. There's a better
strategy. Have less demands. Instead, have preferences! For things that are
beyond your control, tell yourself: "I WOULD PREFER "A", BUT IF "B" HAPPENS,
IT'S OK TOO!" This is really a game that you play in your head. It is a
shift in attitude, and it gives you more peace of mind.

You prefer that people are polite ... but when they are rude, it doesn't
ruin your day.
You prefer sunshine ... but rain is ok!

To become happier, we either need to

a) change the world, or
b) change our thinking. It is easier to change our thinking!

IN A NUTSHELL

It's not what happens to you that determines your happiness.
It's how you think about what happens to you

History Can Be Fun

The next time you are washing your hands and complain because the water temperature isn't just how you like it, think about how things used to be..... Here are some facts :

Most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath in May and still smelled pretty good by June. However, they were starting to smell so brides carried a bouquet of flowers to hide the body odor. Hence the custom today of carrying a bouquet when getting married.
* * * * * *

Baths consisted of a big tub filled with hot water. The man of the house had the privilege of the nice clean water, then all the other sons and men, then the women and finally the children-last of all the babies. By then the water was so dirty you could actually lose someone in it. Hence the saying, "Don't throw the baby out with the bath water."


* * * * * * Houses had thatched roofs-thick straw-piled high, with no wood underneath. It was the only place for animals to get warm, so all the dogs, cats and other small animals (mice, bugs) lived in the roof. When it rained it became slippery and sometimes the animals would slip and fall off the roof. Hence the saying "It's raining cats and dogs."


* * * * * * There was nothing to stop things from falling into the house. This posed real problem in the bedroom where bugs and other droppings could really mess up your nice clean bed. Hence, a bed with big posts and a sheet hung over the top afforded some protection. That's how canopy beds came into existence.


* * * * * * The floor was dirt. Only the wealthy had something other than dirt. Hence the saying "dirt poor."


* * * * * * The wealthy had slate floors that would get slippery in the winter when wet, so they spread thresh (straw) on the floor to help keep their footing. As the winter wore on, they kept adding more thresh until when you opened the door it would all start slipping outside. A piece of wood was placed in the entranceway. Hence the saying a "thresh hold."


* * * * * * In those old days, they cooked in the kitchen with a big kettle that always hung over the fire. Every day they lit the fire and added things to the pot. They ate mostly vegetables and did not get much meat. They would eat the stew for dinner, leaving leftovers in the pot to get cold overnight and then start over the next day. Sometimes the stew had food in it that had been there for quite a while. Hence the rhyme, "Peas porridge hot, peas porridge cold, peas porridge in the pot nine days old."


* * * * * * Sometimes they could obtain pork, which made them feel quite special. When visitors came over, they would hang up their bacon to show off. It was a sign of wealth that a man "could bring home the bacon." They would cut off a little to share with guests and would all sit around and chew the fat."


* * * * * * Those with money had plates made of pewter. Food with high acid content caused some of the lead to leach onto the food, causing lead poisoning and death. This happened most often with tomatoes, so for the next 400 years or so, tomatoes were considered poisonous.


* * * * * * Bread was divided according to status. Workers got the burnt bottom of the loaf, the family got the middle, and guests got the top, or "upper crust."


* * * * * * Lead cups were used to drink ale or whisky. The combination would sometimes knock them out for a couple of days. Someone walking along the road would take them for dead and prepare them for burial. They were laid out on the kitchen table for a couple of days and the family would gather around and eat and drink and wait and see if they would wake up. Hence the custom of holding a "wake."


* * * * * * England is old and small and the local folks started running out of places to bury people. So they would dig up coffins and would take the bones to a "bone-house" and reuse the grave. When reopening these coffins, 1 out of 25 coffins were found to have scratch marks on the inside and they realized they had been burying people alive. So they thought they would tie a string on the wrist of the corpse, lead it through the coffin and up through the ground and tie it to a bell. Someone would have to sit out in the graveyard all night (the "graveyard shift") to listen for the bell; thus, someone could be "saved by the bell" or was considered a "dead ringer."


* * * * * * And that's the truth... Now, whoever said that History was boring ?

Drops of Oil


A certain shopkeeper sent his son to learn about the secret of happiness
from the wisest man in the world. The lad wandered through the desert for
forty days, and finally came upon a beautiful castle, high atop a mountain.
It was there that the wise man lived.

Rather than finding a saintly man though, our young lad, on entering the
main room of the castle, saw a hive of activity: tradesmen came and went,
people were conversing in the corners, a small orchestra was playing soft
music, and there was a table covered with platters of the most delicious
food in that part of the world.

The wise man listened attentively to the boy's explanation of why he had
come, but told him that he didn't have just then to explain the secret of
happiness.

He suggested that the boy look around the palace and return in two hours.
"Meanwhile, I want to ask you to do something," said the wise man, handing
the boy a teaspoon that held two drops of oil. "As you wander around, carry
this spoon without allowing the oil to spill."

The boy began climbing and descending the many stairways of the castle,
keeping his eyes fixed on the spoon. After two hours, he returned to the
room where the wise man was.

"Well", said the wise man, "did you see the Persian tapestries that are
hanging in the dining hall? Did you see the garden that took the master
gardener 10 years to create? Did you notice the beautiful parchments in my
library?"

The boy was embarrassed, and confessed that he had observed nothing. His
only concern had been not to spill the oil that the wise man had entrusted
to him.

"Then go back and observe the marvels of my world", said the wise man.

Relieved, the boy picked up the spoon and returned to his exploration of the
palace, this time observing all the works of art on the ceilings and the
walls. He saw the gardens and the mountains all around him, the beauty of
the flowers. Upon returning to the wise man, he related in detail everything
he had seen.

"But where are the drops of oil I entrusted to you?", asked the wise man.
Looking down at the spoon he held, the boy saw that the oil was gone. "Well,
there is only one piece of advice I can give you", said the wisest of wise
men. "The secret of happiness is to see all the marvels of the world, and
never to forget the drops of oil on the spoon."

This story serves as just a little reminder that while we get all caught up
in the frenzy of work and assignments, we mustn't forget about the "drops of
oil", the things in life that really matter... friends, family, stuffed
toys... and the ties that bind..

Get Out Of Your Rut

- by Melanie Schurr

"Action may not always bring happiness; but there is no happiness without
action." - Benjamin Disraeli

Benny was an average looking, middle-aged man, who lived in an average home
in an average neighborhood. He had an average-looking wife and average
children. Although Benny held no negativity toward his job of ten years with
the same company, there was a sense deep inside him that something was
missing from his life. Before he met his wife, he thought marriage would
bring him the happiness he so desired. When nirvana was not found in that
path, Benny decided that perhaps a more noble route to contentment could be
found in parenthood.

While having a wife and children brought much joy to Benny, and as the
children got older and needed him less, Benny felt a bit disillusioned about
this seemingly elusive emotional state called happiness. It was not long
before Benny subconsciously let go off ever experiencing this gift he so
craved.


And so, Benny went back to his daily routine, living his average life with
his average wife and children, in their average neighborhood.

Benny could easily be you or me. In fact, how many people do YOU know who
seem to have it all; steady job, comfortable home, decent spouse and
children, yet who are walking about unfulfilled?

Perhaps this bland state of existence can be compared to vanilla ice cream.
While vanilla is indeed tasty, we must not forget there are a whole lot of
other yummy flavors of ice cream in existence as well! However, just as some
people are afraid to try a new flavor of ice cream, instead, settling time
after time for their comfortable stand-by, even more individuals are fearful
of reaching out and grabbing happiness with both hands. Why are we often
hesitant? Most likely, because, as humans, we tend to fear the unknown and
unexplored. We also tend to hang on to ruts we have made for our self
because the thought of aggressive action would mean breaking free of tired
and worn familiar habits and patterns.

As the above quote states, there is no guarantee that action will bring
happiness, but the only way to find out is by reaching out. This often
means, reaching out of our comfort zones and what is familiar. In our
communities, there exist many doors to experiences that could help bring
more depth, meaning, and satisfaction to your life. All that is required is
the courage to open and walk through that door. Some of these paths of
community service and outreach lead to interesting events, fun clubs, hidden
talents, new friends, hearty laughs, and warm hugs from people whose lives
you truly can make a difference in. There is no greater gift than love, and
in order to give it, we must be willing to climb out of our comfortable ruts
and reach out of ourselves. There is another door we must not hesitate to
open, and its path leads to our Creator, God. He is standing your door
knocking. Open it, and your life will be forever positively changed.