Saturday, August 30, 2003
There's a guy sitting at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half an hour. Soon, a big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand seeing a man crying."
"No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I'm late to my office. My boss, in an outrage, fires me. When I leave the building to my car, I found out it was stolen. "The police say they can do nothing. I get a cab to
return home and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away. I go home and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home and come to this bar. "And when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison."
"No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I'm late to my office. My boss, in an outrage, fires me. When I leave the building to my car, I found out it was stolen. "The police say they can do nothing. I get a cab to
return home and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away. I go home and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home and come to this bar. "And when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison."
>Find your love attitude number, add your birth month and your birth
> date together. Keep reducing it until it's a single digit.
>
>
> Example: August 20
> = 8 + 20 = 28
> = 2 + 8 = 10
> = 1 + 0 = 1
> Thus, the love attitude number is = 1
>
>
>
> 1
> You're charming imaginative and independent. Usually your style is
> ahead of others, you know what's in and what's way out. Sometimes
> you're a little too aggressive when it comes to pursuing a love interest.
> You've a way of drawing attention wherever you go and this dramatic
> flare usually attracts the strongest guys. Your competitive nature either
> draws or repels guys/gals but those who can't handle your power aren't
> your type anyway. At times you can b! e possessive, manipulating and
> demanding with your friends and in love relationships. You like
> guys/gals with lots of intelligence and knock them dead good looks
> don't hurt either.
>
>
> 2
> Your love nature is sentimental, romantic and kind. Your easygoing,
> mild manner allows almost everyone to feel very comfortable with you -
> especially shy guys/gals. Your modesty and tact enable you to get along
> easily with both sexes. You're a natural peacemaker and can be very
> persuasive with words, which helps you to gain the respect of your
> classmates. You can also be too sensitive at times, and your greatest
> drawback is a lack of confidence to stand up for yourself in conflict.
> Your favorite type of guy/gal is a gentle, affectionate one who is also
> strong and playful. A great sense of humor is also a must. A guy/gal
> who loves to listen to music and dance should rank high on your list of
> favorites, too.
>
>
> 3
> You're imaginative, fun-loving, trill-seeking and expressive. You're
> so charming that you attract many friends and you're almost never
> lacking guys/gals. In your earlier years, you maybe totally shy and
> self-conscious, but you'll lose those qualities in the high-school
> years. You can be sort of vain or even a bit of a show-off when you get
> caught up in exciting events in your life, but you usually redeem
> yourself in some playful way before you lose a friend. Jealousy shows
> its ugly head sometimes, but generally you aren't affected by it unless
> your guy tries to provoke it. In the guy department, you refer the
> athletic or artistic types. You're in absolute heaven when you find
> both of those qualities in the same guy. When you're looking for love,
> a guy who can make you laugh scores points, big time!
>
>
> 4
> You tend to be loyal, dedicated and good-hearted. You're one of the
> most diligent students when you really try, and you tend to make your
> schoolwork a priority. You also express those same qualities in your
> love relationship. No one is more faithful and trusting than you. In
> fact, those tendencies can be a little negative in your romantic life.
> It give you the respect and love you deserve. You can be stubborn and a
> bit of a troublemaker if the mood strikes you but you can usually dig
> yourself out of that hole just in time to stay out of major trouble.
> You usually fall for extremes when choosing a love mate - he/she is
> good-looking, too, but that's not a major consideration for you.
>
>
> 5
> Your love attitude is adventurous, charismatic and spontaneous. You're
> creative and adaptable, and you can come up with the most exciting and
> sometimes daring things to do. Your quick intelligence and way with
> words help get you out of the problems that come with being flirtatious
> and laying hard to get. You need to pay close attention to your
> personal values because you love to try new and different things and
> easily go along with the crowd and the consequences can put extra strain
> on your relationship with a boy/girl. You like guys who have great bodies
> and good looks, along with exceptional brain and high grades. It helps if
> they're highly athletic or involved in as many activities as you,otherwise
> you might get bored! Variety is the key to your love attitude number.
>
>
>
> 6
> You're warm, loving, devoted and affectionate. Your outgoing, thoughtful
> nature attracts many boyfriends/girlfriends to you, and usually some of the
> nicest guys too. Because of your need to care, you can end up in a
> relationship that requires too much care-taking to make it balanced. Since
> home and family play important roles in your life, you're unlikely to be
> attracted to guys/gals who your parents wouldn't like. Sometimes you've
> a slight jealous streak but it doesn't last long. Some people with this
> love attitude number are prone to making ha! rsh judgments of others,
> especially when others don't share your set of values. You're especially
> attracted to the good looking, boy-next-door type who is smart as well
> as a gentleman.
>
>
>
> 7
> Your love nature is thoughtful, poetic, mystical and mysterious. A few
> people with love attitude number seven are class clowns, and they
> usually attract guys/gals who like to be given a hard time. But most of
> you are the quiet, reserved types who dislike calling attention to
> yourself. Your type generally attracts guys who feel the same way you
> do. Your defined, independent and secretive nature is very alluring to
> certain guys/gays. At times, you can also be somewhat fault-finding and
> a little demanding in your love relationship and with friends. You're
> mostly attracted to guys/gals who aren't like all the rest; a loner
> easily attracts you. And, if he/she reads alot and enjoy learning, he/she
> is especially perfect for you.
>
>
> 8
> Your love attitude is confident, powerful and exciting. This number
> usually makes for a very conscientious student, someone who puts
> schoolwork ahead of a social life. However, you also enjoy being a
> leader among your classmates and will seek offices or other positions
> that enable you to use your leadership skills. Because of this, you can
> be somewhat intimidating to certain guys/gals. You can also be a little
> too intense, bossy and jealous for your own good. Your love match is
> definitely someone who is smart, handsome/pretty and popular. You like
> quality over quantity and will usually wait until the guy/gal with the best
> attributes comes along.
>
>
> 9
> You've a sophisticated attitude that's also generous and considerate.
> Your responsible, charitable nature may find you attracting guys/gals
> who want someone to confide in or who makes them feel secure. At a very
> young age, you developed the type of personality that makes others feel
> safe and protected. You'll carry these qualities into your adult years
> and, down the road, you'll be a good mom/dad because of them. On the
> negative side, you can be argumentative and overly emotional, and you
> usually possess a temper that can make everyone run for cover. You like
> the kind of guy/gal who is responsible and impeccably dressed and has
> gorgeous eyes and a great body. Charm, with and brilliance could make
> him the perfect guy/gal for you.
> date together. Keep reducing it until it's a single digit.
>
>
> Example: August 20
> = 8 + 20 = 28
> = 2 + 8 = 10
> = 1 + 0 = 1
> Thus, the love attitude number is = 1
>
>
>
> 1
> You're charming imaginative and independent. Usually your style is
> ahead of others, you know what's in and what's way out. Sometimes
> you're a little too aggressive when it comes to pursuing a love interest.
> You've a way of drawing attention wherever you go and this dramatic
> flare usually attracts the strongest guys. Your competitive nature either
> draws or repels guys/gals but those who can't handle your power aren't
> your type anyway. At times you can b! e possessive, manipulating and
> demanding with your friends and in love relationships. You like
> guys/gals with lots of intelligence and knock them dead good looks
> don't hurt either.
>
>
> 2
> Your love nature is sentimental, romantic and kind. Your easygoing,
> mild manner allows almost everyone to feel very comfortable with you -
> especially shy guys/gals. Your modesty and tact enable you to get along
> easily with both sexes. You're a natural peacemaker and can be very
> persuasive with words, which helps you to gain the respect of your
> classmates. You can also be too sensitive at times, and your greatest
> drawback is a lack of confidence to stand up for yourself in conflict.
> Your favorite type of guy/gal is a gentle, affectionate one who is also
> strong and playful. A great sense of humor is also a must. A guy/gal
> who loves to listen to music and dance should rank high on your list of
> favorites, too.
>
>
> 3
> You're imaginative, fun-loving, trill-seeking and expressive. You're
> so charming that you attract many friends and you're almost never
> lacking guys/gals. In your earlier years, you maybe totally shy and
> self-conscious, but you'll lose those qualities in the high-school
> years. You can be sort of vain or even a bit of a show-off when you get
> caught up in exciting events in your life, but you usually redeem
> yourself in some playful way before you lose a friend. Jealousy shows
> its ugly head sometimes, but generally you aren't affected by it unless
> your guy tries to provoke it. In the guy department, you refer the
> athletic or artistic types. You're in absolute heaven when you find
> both of those qualities in the same guy. When you're looking for love,
> a guy who can make you laugh scores points, big time!
>
>
> 4
> You tend to be loyal, dedicated and good-hearted. You're one of the
> most diligent students when you really try, and you tend to make your
> schoolwork a priority. You also express those same qualities in your
> love relationship. No one is more faithful and trusting than you. In
> fact, those tendencies can be a little negative in your romantic life.
> It give you the respect and love you deserve. You can be stubborn and a
> bit of a troublemaker if the mood strikes you but you can usually dig
> yourself out of that hole just in time to stay out of major trouble.
> You usually fall for extremes when choosing a love mate - he/she is
> good-looking, too, but that's not a major consideration for you.
>
>
> 5
> Your love attitude is adventurous, charismatic and spontaneous. You're
> creative and adaptable, and you can come up with the most exciting and
> sometimes daring things to do. Your quick intelligence and way with
> words help get you out of the problems that come with being flirtatious
> and laying hard to get. You need to pay close attention to your
> personal values because you love to try new and different things and
> easily go along with the crowd and the consequences can put extra strain
> on your relationship with a boy/girl. You like guys who have great bodies
> and good looks, along with exceptional brain and high grades. It helps if
> they're highly athletic or involved in as many activities as you,otherwise
> you might get bored! Variety is the key to your love attitude number.
>
>
>
> 6
> You're warm, loving, devoted and affectionate. Your outgoing, thoughtful
> nature attracts many boyfriends/girlfriends to you, and usually some of the
> nicest guys too. Because of your need to care, you can end up in a
> relationship that requires too much care-taking to make it balanced. Since
> home and family play important roles in your life, you're unlikely to be
> attracted to guys/gals who your parents wouldn't like. Sometimes you've
> a slight jealous streak but it doesn't last long. Some people with this
> love attitude number are prone to making ha! rsh judgments of others,
> especially when others don't share your set of values. You're especially
> attracted to the good looking, boy-next-door type who is smart as well
> as a gentleman.
>
>
>
> 7
> Your love nature is thoughtful, poetic, mystical and mysterious. A few
> people with love attitude number seven are class clowns, and they
> usually attract guys/gals who like to be given a hard time. But most of
> you are the quiet, reserved types who dislike calling attention to
> yourself. Your type generally attracts guys who feel the same way you
> do. Your defined, independent and secretive nature is very alluring to
> certain guys/gays. At times, you can also be somewhat fault-finding and
> a little demanding in your love relationship and with friends. You're
> mostly attracted to guys/gals who aren't like all the rest; a loner
> easily attracts you. And, if he/she reads alot and enjoy learning, he/she
> is especially perfect for you.
>
>
> 8
> Your love attitude is confident, powerful and exciting. This number
> usually makes for a very conscientious student, someone who puts
> schoolwork ahead of a social life. However, you also enjoy being a
> leader among your classmates and will seek offices or other positions
> that enable you to use your leadership skills. Because of this, you can
> be somewhat intimidating to certain guys/gals. You can also be a little
> too intense, bossy and jealous for your own good. Your love match is
> definitely someone who is smart, handsome/pretty and popular. You like
> quality over quantity and will usually wait until the guy/gal with the best
> attributes comes along.
>
>
> 9
> You've a sophisticated attitude that's also generous and considerate.
> Your responsible, charitable nature may find you attracting guys/gals
> who want someone to confide in or who makes them feel secure. At a very
> young age, you developed the type of personality that makes others feel
> safe and protected. You'll carry these qualities into your adult years
> and, down the road, you'll be a good mom/dad because of them. On the
> negative side, you can be argumentative and overly emotional, and you
> usually possess a temper that can make everyone run for cover. You like
> the kind of guy/gal who is responsible and impeccably dressed and has
> gorgeous eyes and a great body. Charm, with and brilliance could make
> him the perfect guy/gal for you.
This is really touching...
Horror gripped the heart of a World War-I soldier,as
he saw his lifelong friend fall in battle.The soldier
asked his Lieutenant if he could go out to bring
his fallen comrade back. "You can go," said the
Lieutenant, "but I don't think it will be worth
it.Your friend is probably dead and you may throw your
life away."The Lieutenant's words didn't matter,and
the soldier went anyway.
Miraculously, he managed to reach his friend, hoisted
him onto his shoulder and brought him back to their
company's trench. The officer checked the wounded
soldier , then looked kindly at his friend. " I told
you it wouldn't be worth it," he said. "Your friend is
dead and you are mortally wounded."
" It was worth it, Sir," said the soldier. "What do
you mean by worth it?" responded the Lieutenant. "
Your friend is dead." "Yes Sir," the soldier answered,
" but it was worth it because when I got to him, he
was still alive and I had the satisfaction of hearing
him say...."Jim...I knew you'd come."
Many times in life, whether a thing is worth doing or
not, really depends on how u look at it. Take up all
your courage and do something your heart tells you to
do so that you may not regret not doing it
later in your life........
Horror gripped the heart of a World War-I soldier,as
he saw his lifelong friend fall in battle.The soldier
asked his Lieutenant if he could go out to bring
his fallen comrade back. "You can go," said the
Lieutenant, "but I don't think it will be worth
it.Your friend is probably dead and you may throw your
life away."The Lieutenant's words didn't matter,and
the soldier went anyway.
Miraculously, he managed to reach his friend, hoisted
him onto his shoulder and brought him back to their
company's trench. The officer checked the wounded
soldier , then looked kindly at his friend. " I told
you it wouldn't be worth it," he said. "Your friend is
dead and you are mortally wounded."
" It was worth it, Sir," said the soldier. "What do
you mean by worth it?" responded the Lieutenant. "
Your friend is dead." "Yes Sir," the soldier answered,
" but it was worth it because when I got to him, he
was still alive and I had the satisfaction of hearing
him say...."Jim...I knew you'd come."
Many times in life, whether a thing is worth doing or
not, really depends on how u look at it. Take up all
your courage and do something your heart tells you to
do so that you may not regret not doing it
later in your life........
big chocolate cake
Look at the world as one big chocolate cake.
It would never be complete without few sweets n nuts.
Sweets like ME and nuts like YOU.
Look at the world as one big chocolate cake.
It would never be complete without few sweets n nuts.
Sweets like ME and nuts like YOU.
Tuesday, August 19, 2003
ARTICLE:
THE ART of GOOD LISTENING: 3 STEPS to DOING IT WELL
– By Uzi Weingarten
----------------------------------------------------
Good listening is one of the best and most loving gifts that we can offer to another person. This is especially true when somebody is hurt or upset about something and shares it with us.
All too often, in spite of our good intentions, we find ourselves responding to others in ways that are not effective. Here are
three principles that help us to respond with compassion and effectiveness when people share their feelings with us.
1. Listen with openness, not judgment. The first thing that people need when they share something that hurts or upsets them is a sense that it is safe to talk. That means that when they tell us what happened or how they are feeling, we will not judge, criticize, shame or blame them.
This is what allows them to trust us and feel safe opening up.
That we don't judge does not mean that we have no sense of right and wrong. What it does mean is that we put that aside and listen with compassionate ears. It is to focus on the heart that is sharing its hurt with us, rather than on our sense of right/wrong.
2. The key is the feelings and needs. The second thing that people want, after a sense of safety, is for their experience, and especially their feelings, to be understood. This is because the key to any situation is how the person feels about it. This attempt to understand how another is feeling in a given situation, and doing so with no criticism or judgment, is called "empathy."
One excellent way to express empathy is to reflect back to the person what we imagine the experience was like. There is an art to doing this that is hard to convey in a short article; in my Communicating with Compassion course we spend the first four sessions on this. (You can find an excellent introduction to empathy in "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People," by Stephen Covey, pages 236-260.)
That having been said, here is a simple example:
If somebody is sharing with us a story about how she was ridiculed for asking a certain question, we might ask ourselves how we feel when we are ridiculed. We would then reflect that feeling back and see if this indeed is how she felt. We might say, "So you felt embarrassed and humiliated."
It is of course important to say this in a gentle tone and a caring way.
It is remarkable how often a simple reflection of feelings, when done with no judgment or criticism, creates an initial sense of relief. It also tends to open the speaker's heart to share more of the experience. She might add that she was going to be with these people for the next 10 hours, and was concerned that they might ridicule her again. To which we might respond, "So you were feeling unsafe."
This might go on for a few rounds. If we stay with reflecting feelings, with no judgment or criticism, and only a desire to understand the other's experience, the result will often be a sense of deep relief and the ability to arrive at a sense of resolution.
3. Wait before offering advice. We often have ideas and information that might be helpful to the other. And yet, it is very important to first understand and reflect the feelings, and only then to offer advice. When people are upset, what they need first, before anything else, is empathy.
Only after the feelings have been heard and acknowledged are people ready for advice. Offering advice before that point might be well intentioned but is in fact misguided. It could easily result in people being irritated or hurt.
When people are ready for advice, there are some keys to how to offer it.
I discussed this in the last article, which you can access by visiting my website: www.uziteaches.com, and clicking on the Articles link.
Putting these three principles to work will make a significant difference in your relationships. Try it and you'll see!
About the AuthorUzi Weingarten has studied and taught the art of human communication formany years.
THE ART of GOOD LISTENING: 3 STEPS to DOING IT WELL
– By Uzi Weingarten
----------------------------------------------------
Good listening is one of the best and most loving gifts that we can offer to another person. This is especially true when somebody is hurt or upset about something and shares it with us.
All too often, in spite of our good intentions, we find ourselves responding to others in ways that are not effective. Here are
three principles that help us to respond with compassion and effectiveness when people share their feelings with us.
1. Listen with openness, not judgment. The first thing that people need when they share something that hurts or upsets them is a sense that it is safe to talk. That means that when they tell us what happened or how they are feeling, we will not judge, criticize, shame or blame them.
This is what allows them to trust us and feel safe opening up.
That we don't judge does not mean that we have no sense of right and wrong. What it does mean is that we put that aside and listen with compassionate ears. It is to focus on the heart that is sharing its hurt with us, rather than on our sense of right/wrong.
2. The key is the feelings and needs. The second thing that people want, after a sense of safety, is for their experience, and especially their feelings, to be understood. This is because the key to any situation is how the person feels about it. This attempt to understand how another is feeling in a given situation, and doing so with no criticism or judgment, is called "empathy."
One excellent way to express empathy is to reflect back to the person what we imagine the experience was like. There is an art to doing this that is hard to convey in a short article; in my Communicating with Compassion course we spend the first four sessions on this. (You can find an excellent introduction to empathy in "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People," by Stephen Covey, pages 236-260.)
That having been said, here is a simple example:
If somebody is sharing with us a story about how she was ridiculed for asking a certain question, we might ask ourselves how we feel when we are ridiculed. We would then reflect that feeling back and see if this indeed is how she felt. We might say, "So you felt embarrassed and humiliated."
It is of course important to say this in a gentle tone and a caring way.
It is remarkable how often a simple reflection of feelings, when done with no judgment or criticism, creates an initial sense of relief. It also tends to open the speaker's heart to share more of the experience. She might add that she was going to be with these people for the next 10 hours, and was concerned that they might ridicule her again. To which we might respond, "So you were feeling unsafe."
This might go on for a few rounds. If we stay with reflecting feelings, with no judgment or criticism, and only a desire to understand the other's experience, the result will often be a sense of deep relief and the ability to arrive at a sense of resolution.
3. Wait before offering advice. We often have ideas and information that might be helpful to the other. And yet, it is very important to first understand and reflect the feelings, and only then to offer advice. When people are upset, what they need first, before anything else, is empathy.
Only after the feelings have been heard and acknowledged are people ready for advice. Offering advice before that point might be well intentioned but is in fact misguided. It could easily result in people being irritated or hurt.
When people are ready for advice, there are some keys to how to offer it.
I discussed this in the last article, which you can access by visiting my website: www.uziteaches.com, and clicking on the Articles link.
Putting these three principles to work will make a significant difference in your relationships. Try it and you'll see!
About the AuthorUzi Weingarten has studied and taught the art of human communication formany years.
Saturday, August 16, 2003
This imaginary interview is based on the common PJs and conceptions in IT industry.
Interviewer: Tell me about yourself.
Candidate: I am Rameshwar Kulkarni. I did my Tele communication engineering from BabanRao Dhole-Patil Institute of Technology.
Int: BabanRao Dhole-Patil Institute of Technology? I had never heard of this college before!
Candi: Great! Even I had not heard of it before getting an admission into it. What happened is - due to cricket world cup I scored badly in 12th. I was getting a paid seat in a good college. But my father said (I prefer to call him 'baap') - "I can not invest so much of money". (The baap actually said - "I will never waste so much of money on you"). So I had to join this college. Frankly speaking this name - BabanRao Dhole-Patil, can at the most be related to a Shetaki Mahavidyalaya he he he...
Int: ok, ok. It seems! you have taken 6 years to complete your engineering.
Cand: Actually I tried my best to finish it in 4 years. But you know, these cricket matches and football worldcup, and tennis tournaments. It is difficult to concentrate.. So I flunked in 2nd and 3rd year. So in all I took 4 + 2 = 7 years.
Int: But 4+2 is 6.
Cand: Oh, is it? You know I always had KT in maths. But I will try to keep this in mind. 4+2 is 6, good, thanks. These cricket matches really affect exams a lot. I think they should ban it.
Int: Good to know that you want cricket matches to be banned.
Can: No, no.. I am talking about Exams!!
Int: Ok, What is your biggest achievement in life?
Can: Obviously, completing my Engineering. My mom never thought I would complete it. In fact, when i flunked in 3rd year, she was looking for a job for me in BEST through some relative. (My moms's exact words were &! gt; "Melya, kiti divas fukatache gilat basanar aahes?")
Int: Do you have any plans of higher study?
Can: he he he.. Are you kidding? Completing 'lower' education itself was so much of pain!!
Int: Let's talk about technical stuff. On which platforms have you worked?
Can: Well, I work at SEEPZ, so you can say Andheri is my current platform. Earlier I was at Vashi center. So Vashi was my platform then. As you can see I have experience of different platforms!
Int: And which languages have you used?
Can: Marathi, Hindi, English. By the way, I can keep quiet in German, French, Russian and many other languages he he he...
Int: Why VC is better than VB?
Can: It is a commom sense - C comes after B. So VC is a higher version than VB. I heard very soon they are coming up with a new language VD!
Int: Do you know anything about Assembly Language?
Can: Well, I have not heard of it. But I guess, this is the language our ministers and MPs use in assembly.
Int: What is your general project experience?
Can: My general experience about projects is - most of the times they are in pipeline!
Int: Can you tell me about your current job?
Can: Sure, Currently I am working for Bata Infotech ltd. Since joining BIL, I am on Bench. Before joining BIL, I used to think that Bench was another software like Windows he he he..
Int: Do you have any project management experience?
Can: No, but I guess it shouldn't be difficult. I know Word and Excel. I can talk a lot. I know how to dial for International phone call and use speaker facility. And very important - I know few words like - 'Showstoppers', 'hotfixes', 'SEI CMM', 'quality', 'version control', 'deadlines' , 'Customer Satisfaction' etc. Also I can blame others for my mistakes!
Int: What are your expectations from our company?
Can: Not much.
1. I should at least get 40,000 in hand.
2. I would like to work on a live EJB project. But it should not have deadlines. I personally feel that pressure affects natural talent.
3. I believe in flexi-timings.
4. Dress code is against basic freedom, so I would like to wear t-shirt and jeans.
5. We must have sat-sun off. I will suggest wed off also, so as to avoid breakdown due to overwork.
6. I would like to go abroad 3 times a year on short term (preferably 1-2 months) assignments. Personally I prefer US, Australia and Europe. But considering the fact that there is a worldcup in West Indies in 2007, I don't mind going there in that period. As you can see I am modest and don't have many expectations. So can I assume my selection?
Int: he he he ha ha ha. Thanks for your interest in our organization. In fact! I was never entertained so much before. I request you not to apply in our organization for next 100 years. After that we might consider you!!
The candidate still doesn't know why he was not selected.
"I know you are cursing me like anything, but hehehe even i cursed the stupid who sent me this."
Interviewer: Tell me about yourself.
Candidate: I am Rameshwar Kulkarni. I did my Tele communication engineering from BabanRao Dhole-Patil Institute of Technology.
Int: BabanRao Dhole-Patil Institute of Technology? I had never heard of this college before!
Candi: Great! Even I had not heard of it before getting an admission into it. What happened is - due to cricket world cup I scored badly in 12th. I was getting a paid seat in a good college. But my father said (I prefer to call him 'baap') - "I can not invest so much of money". (The baap actually said - "I will never waste so much of money on you"). So I had to join this college. Frankly speaking this name - BabanRao Dhole-Patil, can at the most be related to a Shetaki Mahavidyalaya he he he...
Int: ok, ok. It seems! you have taken 6 years to complete your engineering.
Cand: Actually I tried my best to finish it in 4 years. But you know, these cricket matches and football worldcup, and tennis tournaments. It is difficult to concentrate.. So I flunked in 2nd and 3rd year. So in all I took 4 + 2 = 7 years.
Int: But 4+2 is 6.
Cand: Oh, is it? You know I always had KT in maths. But I will try to keep this in mind. 4+2 is 6, good, thanks. These cricket matches really affect exams a lot. I think they should ban it.
Int: Good to know that you want cricket matches to be banned.
Can: No, no.. I am talking about Exams!!
Int: Ok, What is your biggest achievement in life?
Can: Obviously, completing my Engineering. My mom never thought I would complete it. In fact, when i flunked in 3rd year, she was looking for a job for me in BEST through some relative. (My moms's exact words were &! gt; "Melya, kiti divas fukatache gilat basanar aahes?")
Int: Do you have any plans of higher study?
Can: he he he.. Are you kidding? Completing 'lower' education itself was so much of pain!!
Int: Let's talk about technical stuff. On which platforms have you worked?
Can: Well, I work at SEEPZ, so you can say Andheri is my current platform. Earlier I was at Vashi center. So Vashi was my platform then. As you can see I have experience of different platforms!
Int: And which languages have you used?
Can: Marathi, Hindi, English. By the way, I can keep quiet in German, French, Russian and many other languages he he he...
Int: Why VC is better than VB?
Can: It is a commom sense - C comes after B. So VC is a higher version than VB. I heard very soon they are coming up with a new language VD!
Int: Do you know anything about Assembly Language?
Can: Well, I have not heard of it. But I guess, this is the language our ministers and MPs use in assembly.
Int: What is your general project experience?
Can: My general experience about projects is - most of the times they are in pipeline!
Int: Can you tell me about your current job?
Can: Sure, Currently I am working for Bata Infotech ltd. Since joining BIL, I am on Bench. Before joining BIL, I used to think that Bench was another software like Windows he he he..
Int: Do you have any project management experience?
Can: No, but I guess it shouldn't be difficult. I know Word and Excel. I can talk a lot. I know how to dial for International phone call and use speaker facility. And very important - I know few words like - 'Showstoppers', 'hotfixes', 'SEI CMM', 'quality', 'version control', 'deadlines' , 'Customer Satisfaction' etc. Also I can blame others for my mistakes!
Int: What are your expectations from our company?
Can: Not much.
1. I should at least get 40,000 in hand.
2. I would like to work on a live EJB project. But it should not have deadlines. I personally feel that pressure affects natural talent.
3. I believe in flexi-timings.
4. Dress code is against basic freedom, so I would like to wear t-shirt and jeans.
5. We must have sat-sun off. I will suggest wed off also, so as to avoid breakdown due to overwork.
6. I would like to go abroad 3 times a year on short term (preferably 1-2 months) assignments. Personally I prefer US, Australia and Europe. But considering the fact that there is a worldcup in West Indies in 2007, I don't mind going there in that period. As you can see I am modest and don't have many expectations. So can I assume my selection?
Int: he he he ha ha ha. Thanks for your interest in our organization. In fact! I was never entertained so much before. I request you not to apply in our organization for next 100 years. After that we might consider you!!
The candidate still doesn't know why he was not selected.
"I know you are cursing me like anything, but hehehe even i cursed the stupid who sent me this."
Monday, August 04, 2003
AN ENGINEER'S VALENTINE POEM
I was alone and all was dark
Beneath me and above
My life was full of volts and amps
But not the spark of love
But now that your are here with me
My heart is overjoyed
You turn the square of my heart
Into a sinusoid
You load things from my memory
Onto my system's bus
My life was once assembly code
Now it's C++
I love the way you solder things
My circuits you can fix
The voltage across your diode is
much more than just point six
With your amps and resistors
You have built my integrator
I cannot survive without you
You are my function generator
You have charged my life, increased my gain
And made my maths discreet
And now I'll end my poem here
Control, Alt, and Delete
I was alone and all was dark
Beneath me and above
My life was full of volts and amps
But not the spark of love
But now that your are here with me
My heart is overjoyed
You turn the square of my heart
Into a sinusoid
You load things from my memory
Onto my system's bus
My life was once assembly code
Now it's C++
I love the way you solder things
My circuits you can fix
The voltage across your diode is
much more than just point six
With your amps and resistors
You have built my integrator
I cannot survive without you
You are my function generator
You have charged my life, increased my gain
And made my maths discreet
And now I'll end my poem here
Control, Alt, and Delete
